Byron has been sick witch takes on it's own challenges . He's whiny, not himself, his nose is stuffy. on top of that today I'm dealing with a lot of stuff . it's not been a fun day for us both, me being in pain. Byron being sick. Part of me snapped today and i hit him on the leg.

Now we don't hit, or should i say i don't hit. I can't i grew up being hit, looking at my own mom in fear. It's not something i want for my son. I hit today. I feel horrible. I feel like i let my mother in. This is a demon i have got to get under control.

but then i'm dealing with something i have feared so long. So i guess sometimes i need to cut myself some slack. i'm only human, but in byron eyes i'm super mom.

I'm going to steal this moment to say my birthday is next month. I want to skip the entire day. Cause of some sad events, I've lost the one person I always thought was by my side my sister. Growing up we hated each other we fought like cats and dogs. She was there when I had my son, I helped her raise her child. For 35 yr I had a sister, my heart has been broken.

I did everything I could do to make sure she was safe, I took her punishments, I loved her so much. I wish I so wish there was a magic pill to make me forget I had a sister. How can I forget her, I will miss her deeply. Now I know some may ask will I ever talk to her again. Answer is no, what she did has cut a whole so deep in my heart, the bleeding has finally stopped. I know one day at a time, but you know what this sucks.

A month ago, any new food resulted with a huge meltdown and puking. It was a nightmare watching in tears as he freaked and cried. Jack and I hoped daily this would change. Well it has.

Byron thing is yogurt, he eats a whole thing at snack time, and he said more mum without me having to prompt him. Hello, I'm so happy!!!!