Well we have some wonderful news, I'm pregnant with our second child, even more happy news. It's a little girl. So now we are teaching Byron, her name and to say sister. It's been a very busy time here. Byron got diagnosed with apraxia of speech, which now helps us understand a lot more how hard it is for him to speak.

We are also going to be moving Byron into a big boy room very soon. Plus he will be starting preschool within the month, now this preschool is run by the school district, for special needs children. So Byron will be in with other kids like him, which makes us as parents very happy.

So now I figure I need to find a new name for this blog, cause life with a boy........isn't going to work with a brother and sister. So any ideas???

Yesterday, was hard, and well I almost had a complete meltdown. We had to take the bus with Byron to speech and ot yesterday. Jack Droped us off at the hub, as soon as he left. Poor Byron had a complete meltdown, I was scratched on my face , arms and chest. My hair was pulled out in small clumps. Byron well he got so worked up, he broke a blood vessel in his eye. We got to the first drop off. I got us breakfast and Byron was a lot calmier.

Well he was great on the rest of the bus trips, he had a great therapy session. His therapist did all he stuff on the trampoline, so Byron could work on bouncing. Byron said green, red, yellow and bird. I was so proud of him. His therapist says she wished she had more parents like jack and I. We ask questions, we don't give in, we make Byron work, we make Byron speak. They made me cry, I don't see what I do is so amassing. I just make him use his words, try new food, sounds. He has consenquenes for his actions, I'm firm, fair and very loving.

So after therapy our bus was late, so we missed out connection bus. So Byron and I were stuck at a grocery store for a hr. So I got us lunch, I got Byron 3 awesome cars, then it was time to get on the bus. When we got to the hub, Byron was passed out cold in my arms. This kind woman saw me struggling with my sleeping child, bag and stroller. She took the stroller helped me get in up and helped me get Byron comfy in it. She gave me a big hug and told I am a wonderful mom.

So normally I would walk the 3 1/2 miles home. But it was black and starting to get nasty. I calked my neighbor he came and got us. It felt so wonderful to be home. Once I got Byron comfy, I had my cry over the whole day. My heart broke, my angels eye, the people who stared at him during his meltdown. I called 2 friends and bawled, it felt good.

Today I feel a lot better. Byrons eye looks the same, he's happy. So far no meltdowns........well I hope none for today.

Byron has been sick witch takes on it's own challenges . He's whiny, not himself, his nose is stuffy. on top of that today I'm dealing with a lot of stuff . it's not been a fun day for us both, me being in pain. Byron being sick. Part of me snapped today and i hit him on the leg.

Now we don't hit, or should i say i don't hit. I can't i grew up being hit, looking at my own mom in fear. It's not something i want for my son. I hit today. I feel horrible. I feel like i let my mother in. This is a demon i have got to get under control.

but then i'm dealing with something i have feared so long. So i guess sometimes i need to cut myself some slack. i'm only human, but in byron eyes i'm super mom.

I'm going to steal this moment to say my birthday is next month. I want to skip the entire day. Cause of some sad events, I've lost the one person I always thought was by my side my sister. Growing up we hated each other we fought like cats and dogs. She was there when I had my son, I helped her raise her child. For 35 yr I had a sister, my heart has been broken.

I did everything I could do to make sure she was safe, I took her punishments, I loved her so much. I wish I so wish there was a magic pill to make me forget I had a sister. How can I forget her, I will miss her deeply. Now I know some may ask will I ever talk to her again. Answer is no, what she did has cut a whole so deep in my heart, the bleeding has finally stopped. I know one day at a time, but you know what this sucks.

A month ago, any new food resulted with a huge meltdown and puking. It was a nightmare watching in tears as he freaked and cried. Jack and I hoped daily this would change. Well it has.

Byron thing is yogurt, he eats a whole thing at snack time, and he said more mum without me having to prompt him. Hello, I'm so happy!!!!

Well it's been a crazy day. Byron woke up sick. You know what I mean they walk out of their rooms, whining and crying.....there sick. Nose running, low grade temp. He's doing pretty ok, right now. He has his new fav, a blue watering can that came from some doll of my nieces. He's holding it, spinning with it, he's wrapped blankie in it to carry it around with penguin. To him it's some great prize. I wonder what he thinks it is, how important is it to him. Is it the same level as blankie and penguin........I wonder.


Funny thing I notice, Byron loves to jump up and down and scream loudly in the hall between his room. It's funny, the echo of his voice, fills the house. I will say I have probally the noisest house on the block. But it's a fun house.

This is my angel!! This child maybe my only child. I worry daily if i'm doing right by him. I second guess everything i do. But it's that what all mom's do, we second and triple guess. We question everything. I can atleast say at the end of the day, he smiled when i said good night.

Ok Byron is tall he's over 3 ft. He looks like a 3 yr old child. I always get the comments he's so quiet for a 3 yr old. Then people look at him like he's a mutant when I say he's 2. Trust me he's not a mutant, a hybrid maybe, still looking into that. But he's always happy and laughing, I've started calling him the laughing gnome. And he's growing up. Now he no longer wants to cuddle in moms arms at nap time. Now he lays beside me, as he falls asleep, as I hold his tiny hand. It's not really fair, one day he was small needed me for everything. Then he started to crawl, then walk, then run, climb, now he does a lot of stuff for himself. I know, I know he's growing up. But I want my baby back for one day.

And the other thing is he's starting to strip down to the nude. Could it be he's ready for potty training.....I wonder. Ok so I better start finding the potty. Ok went to the toys r us website, they have potty wooden thrones, potty wooden rocking chairs....seriously your kidding right. Ok after laughing, I found a nice plastic potty, Byron some plain white underwear. Showed jack, so we placed the order. Here we come potty training. I think I'm insane.

And last, omg Byron starting to talk. Each day a new word comes out. He has the cutest little voice. I'm one very happy moma to a hybrid 2 yr old.