Normal here

It's been normal here latly. Only crazy thing, is every night Byron wakes up middle of the to come snuggle with me in bed. Now I don't mind the snuggles at the least. But I know with my son if he continues this will become a routine. So here's the question, how do I stop this, while I'm half a sleep exhausted. I'll have to think of that.

Morning suck!!!!

From Monday to Friday I get up at 5:40. Feed Chloe and get her back down to sleep. I get to enjoy a hot cup of coffee before I wake up Byron.

This morning was epic, epic in a way only a mom can think of epic. So it's 6:30 , time to wake up the Byron. Open his door , he's not getting up, ok, I carry him to the couch. I give him his juice ( which holds a liquid multivitamin, and a supplement he needs). He gets up and walks over to the kitchen table and sit down. The kid knows this routine way to well. Him and I share a bowl of ceral, he finally finishes his juice. Wow I think this is going great so far. It suddenly changes, when I say go potty. He runs screaming into the bathroom, refuses to take anything off, and now Chloe has woken up and is whimpering. Wonderful, just wonderful.

Snow let's recheck this, he drank his juice, ate breakfast and freaked out over potty, yeah this may e a great morning.

So now he's getting dressed I notice the time, and I. Figure I better fast forward so he can watch his morning show. Epic mistake, another meltdown, as he lays on the floor pointing at the tv screaming. Now Chloe is crying. So I've got a toddler melting in the tile floor, and the baby screaming. .....I think I maybe deaf. So back to the melting child, so he's now dressed and calm. Chloe is now being placed in the baby carrier, and is now smiling and cooing.

Now it's 7:25, we have 5 minutes to get face washed, hair brushed nd teeth brushed. Now what happens next I can only say was so epic, our son gave my husband a headache, and, he wasn't even dealing with this all morning. I gave Byron 2 chances to come on his own, then I turned off the tv. I'm am evil evil evil mom!!! How dare I!!!!!! Byron screams , he slams his fists on the door, he won't walk, I have to drag him into the bathroom. Now he climbs on our bed twice, trying to get to daddy to help him. Doesn't help at all when daddy tells the melting one, big guy you have to go to school. More screaming. I get the child into the hall, backpack in, and out into the garage and he finally stops crying.

It's now 7:35, the melting child is now trying to compose himself. I get a laugh here and there. Suddenly we both hear the bus, the melting one says kiss momy, then waits as the bus stops, and waves bye as he climbs the stairs. He looks so small climbing up those big stairs, he turns and waves bye as he walks down the bus to his seat.

Chloe is now passed out, sound asleep , god only knows how. I have a headache, the husband has a headache. And this goes on every morning. Somedays no screaming, no melting, other days well lets just say I've actually asked my son if he was possessed the night before.
But yes mornings do suck.

Well hi!!!

It's been a busy couple of month. The newest has entered the house. Affectionately called Chloworm or marshmallow. A lot has happen. I'll fill you in.

Byron started preschool, it's a special needs preschool, run by our school district. He loves it, he rides the bus every morning and afternoon. Goes to school all day, and now he's speaking. Can I get amen brother!!!!! He now talks all the time, his nickname is jabber jaw. Now it's not 100% clear but we get what's he's trying to say. He's also showing normal 3 yr old behavior.....hello mcfly he's doing something normal. And he's now 4, yup he had a birthday, he's 4. Meltdowns have also seemed to crop away, we have temper tantrums......and oh god help me whining!!!!!! But I'll take it all. Cause each day he's coming out more and more.

Now Chloe, well she was born after I was in labor for a whole damn wk, then walla, she decided to speed up and get here.

She's now 4 months, she's big and beefy, hence the name marshmallow. She pretty cute, Byron doesn't know what to do with her except wake her up from naps. Yeah that drives me crazy. She's now got the go ahead to start solid foods. So there not much news on her front.


So why did I come back, well you see after Chloe was born, she was diagnosed with colic, and well with colic came my depression. There's only so many times you can listen to your baby do a nasgoul scream in your ear without starting to get twitchy. I figured this would be a good way for me to help more out of my depression. Now im not a santimomy, the CEO of my house, my life right now circles around the 2 small ones, and I love being a mom. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not to sprinkle sunshine and roses nd say everyday is wonderful and my kids are perfect. Honestly can I puke. No most of my days are battle between Byron the monster,who I swear has a evil plan somewhere in his head, a d the screaming marshmallow. Yeah there are warm fuzzy moments, nice sections of life and it's a lot of fun. So that's why I have returned. Talk with all soon.

Well we have some wonderful news, I'm pregnant with our second child, even more happy news. It's a little girl. So now we are teaching Byron, her name and to say sister. It's been a very busy time here. Byron got diagnosed with apraxia of speech, which now helps us understand a lot more how hard it is for him to speak.

We are also going to be moving Byron into a big boy room very soon. Plus he will be starting preschool within the month, now this preschool is run by the school district, for special needs children. So Byron will be in with other kids like him, which makes us as parents very happy.

So now I figure I need to find a new name for this blog, cause life with a boy........isn't going to work with a brother and sister. So any ideas???

Yesterday, was hard, and well I almost had a complete meltdown. We had to take the bus with Byron to speech and ot yesterday. Jack Droped us off at the hub, as soon as he left. Poor Byron had a complete meltdown, I was scratched on my face , arms and chest. My hair was pulled out in small clumps. Byron well he got so worked up, he broke a blood vessel in his eye. We got to the first drop off. I got us breakfast and Byron was a lot calmier.

Well he was great on the rest of the bus trips, he had a great therapy session. His therapist did all he stuff on the trampoline, so Byron could work on bouncing. Byron said green, red, yellow and bird. I was so proud of him. His therapist says she wished she had more parents like jack and I. We ask questions, we don't give in, we make Byron work, we make Byron speak. They made me cry, I don't see what I do is so amassing. I just make him use his words, try new food, sounds. He has consenquenes for his actions, I'm firm, fair and very loving.

So after therapy our bus was late, so we missed out connection bus. So Byron and I were stuck at a grocery store for a hr. So I got us lunch, I got Byron 3 awesome cars, then it was time to get on the bus. When we got to the hub, Byron was passed out cold in my arms. This kind woman saw me struggling with my sleeping child, bag and stroller. She took the stroller helped me get in up and helped me get Byron comfy in it. She gave me a big hug and told I am a wonderful mom.

So normally I would walk the 3 1/2 miles home. But it was black and starting to get nasty. I calked my neighbor he came and got us. It felt so wonderful to be home. Once I got Byron comfy, I had my cry over the whole day. My heart broke, my angels eye, the people who stared at him during his meltdown. I called 2 friends and bawled, it felt good.

Today I feel a lot better. Byrons eye looks the same, he's happy. So far no meltdowns........well I hope none for today.

Byron has been sick witch takes on it's own challenges . He's whiny, not himself, his nose is stuffy. on top of that today I'm dealing with a lot of stuff . it's not been a fun day for us both, me being in pain. Byron being sick. Part of me snapped today and i hit him on the leg.

Now we don't hit, or should i say i don't hit. I can't i grew up being hit, looking at my own mom in fear. It's not something i want for my son. I hit today. I feel horrible. I feel like i let my mother in. This is a demon i have got to get under control.

but then i'm dealing with something i have feared so long. So i guess sometimes i need to cut myself some slack. i'm only human, but in byron eyes i'm super mom.

I'm going to steal this moment to say my birthday is next month. I want to skip the entire day. Cause of some sad events, I've lost the one person I always thought was by my side my sister. Growing up we hated each other we fought like cats and dogs. She was there when I had my son, I helped her raise her child. For 35 yr I had a sister, my heart has been broken.

I did everything I could do to make sure she was safe, I took her punishments, I loved her so much. I wish I so wish there was a magic pill to make me forget I had a sister. How can I forget her, I will miss her deeply. Now I know some may ask will I ever talk to her again. Answer is no, what she did has cut a whole so deep in my heart, the bleeding has finally stopped. I know one day at a time, but you know what this sucks.